Silence
by Xinthos
Summary: Sometimes what's between the lines just isn't enough. [OneShot]


**A/N:** I don't know why it took me so long, but it's been bothering me lately that Sasuke left Konoha... I mean I know it was a long time ago, manga wise, but still. I mean, he had a good life! He had friends who cared about him, a girl that was in love with him, natural talent and a teacher willing to teach him to get stronger. _Seriously, _WTF? It really makes me want to slap him... I mean, losing your entire family is heart-breaking, sure, but letting it ruin your entire life...? Ugh. Anyway, enough ranting, on with the story!

Sorry if the end is confusing by the way; it can be taken in more than one way.

**Summary:** Sometimes what's between the lines just isn't enough.

* * *

**Silence**

Sometimes what's not said is louder than what_ is _said. Sakura find that this is true with Sasuke.

Sakura loves Sasuke more than anything- more so than Naruto and Kakashi and even her own life. She values his word above all else, so when he asks her to marry him she knows that he's not joking- Sasuke never jokes.

Sakura's not sure why she still loves Sasuke, but she knows she does- she can feel it when she looks at him, when she talks to him, when she's near him at all. She knows she still loves him because it's impossible- always was- for her to ever _stop_ loving him. It was never an option. So it doesn't matter that when she wakes up in the morning he's not there, or that when he leaves on missions he doesn't stop to say goodbye, doesn't matter that when he comes home he doesn't notice her. It doesn't matter that he'd rather go see Naruto then spend time with her. Or at least, it shouldn't.

Right?

He tells her he has a use for her- and she likes to believe him. Likes to believe that when he whispers loving things in his sleep it's to her and not to _him, _likes to believe that she's necessary in his life, likes to believe that when he looks, he looks _at_ her and not _through _her. But believing him is getting harder when he spends less and less time at home, less and less time talking to her. Believing gets hard when she tells him she's pregnant and he doesn't hug her and tell her he loves her, but rather just nods awkwardly. He's never lied to her though, so she knows that she does, in fact, have a purpose. He told her so.

_Bear my children_.

And she did. But when the child is born and Sakura tells him she loves him and their daughter more than anything in the world, he looks at her with something like pity on his features and says nothing, but she knows that he really _does_ want to love her. He wants to like spending time with her, and she believes it- _forces_ herself to believe it, because she knows that if she doesn't than everything will fall apart, and it's all Sakura can do for him; to keep things together for her sake and for his and now for their child's. But still, when Sakura lays in bed and she feels him get up and push the sheets aside and walk out the door without trying to make less noise- and the fact that he doesn't care if she knows if he's leaving or not hurts- she can't help but wonder what it really feels like to be understood, to be loved and cared for and to be _normal_ like everyone else.

Still, this doesn't compel her to 'wake up' and ask him where he is going, because she already knows that he's going to visit _him_, and that there's nothing she can do, ever _could_ do, to change his mind. And she thinks that maybe that's okay because she still loves him no matter what, but when the warmth of his pillow and the comfort of the thick quilt starts to fade from his absence, she thinks that maybe everything _won't_ be okay and maybe things won't change and no matter what he really won't love her. She tries not to let the emptiness of the house get to her, but knows that it does anyway.

But when her child- _her _daughter because what did he ever do for them besides bring home money- died at the age of ten from an unsuccessful fight with leukemia he didn't do anything to comfort her, didn't cry over the loss. And when she finally started to fall into a fitful sleep the night after the death she heard him get up and leave, and the fact that he had to go spend time with _him_ and couldn't even fake compassion or sympathy for her is what finally made her stop believing.

And when Sasuke was on a mission and Sakura went to visit Naruto, she knew why he couldn't look her in the eyes, couldn't mask the guilt that was weighing heavily on his mind. She knew why he tried so hard to make it up to her without actually telling her what was going on; why he didn't fight back when she killed him.

Sometimes silence speaks louder than words ever could, but sometimes silence just isn't enough.

Sasuke never told her he wouldn't stay with her.

He never admitted he would love someone else.

He never said he didn't want to be with her.

Sasuke never mentioned he didn't love her.

But he never said he did, either.


End file.
